You are 20 months now, but as far as I'm concerned, you are definitely 2. Your vocabulary has me in complete awe. You definitely say over 100 words, and tell me all about the animals, what sounds they make, what colors they are...you know shapes ((circle, square, triangle)), letters ((B, D, G, L, M, P, S)), and can count to 8. You say "please" and "thank you," and you clearly communicate what you want. Everything is in the 3rd person, and I find it rather endearing//adorable that even when you're being difficult, you still haven't discovered the word "my" or "mine" yet.
ie: "Lilah's bread," or "Lilah's Baby Jesus," but never "mine." Hehe.
Which leads me to a "first" for us!
Yesterday when I picked you up from the nanny, she told me you had to sit in time-out. Twice! What the heck?! That was a first. I asked where time-out was, and how long you were there. It's just the ottoman in the living room, and for about 2 minutes.
You brought 4 toy ducks with you to the nanny, and the rule is you must share your toys, otherwise they get taken up. Well, you didn't want to share (("No! Lilah's!")) so the nanny put them away. Then, no surprise, you threw a fit. So you were placed in time out. Later, you didn't share again, and according to the nanny, you even pushed a little boy! That last part surprised me. I know you don't like sharing, but I've never seen you push or hit.
Hearing this information was interesting, because it was a first for me. I've never been a mom until you, and I've never heard about you being disciplined until now! So, I became immediately aware of what I was feeling and thinking.
I cannot control your environment 24/7. TRUST ME, I TOTALLY WANT TO.
Had I been in control of the environment yesterday, I would have turned off the TV at the nanny's house, and gone into a different room so I could have your undivided attention. It even kind of irks me that you were disciplined in an environment where the TV was on, and you might not have even really understood what was going on. But at the end of the day? It's the nanny's house, her rules, and I stand by the rule of sharing. Some day, you'll be in public school, where I can't control the environment. God knows you'll one day go to parties, and I will SO BADLY want to control that environment, but no, I'll be at home biting my nails until you arrive safely at home, under my roof, when I will once again deep breathe and count my blessings.
So...since I can't control the environment all the time, I CAN control the environment when we're at OUR house ((so I'm uppin' my game)) and I CAN discuss with you what I like and dislike about other places. On our drive home from the nanny yesterday, I talked to you about time-out, and sharing. I told you that this was completely normal behavior for a 2 year old, and I wasn't disappointed in you for being a normal 2 year old. I said you would have the chance to show everybody how quickly you learned your lesson in sharing on Thursday, and reminded you that I loved you.
I realized once we got home that I probably spent way too much time talking about it, and you probably tuned out 90% of it. That was another great awareness for me. Like I said, I'm learning, too. I'll be patient with you, you be patient with me. We've got this.
I think you'll ultimately be a better person by learning how to adapt in different environments. I want to see you running and playing drums outside, but it's also important for you to learn how to respect authority, and play nicely with other kids, and I think those days when I'm at work are perfect for learning those lessons.
We will continue to have play dates on my days off, and I'll continue to show you how wonderful sharing can be. Your friend, Dillon, has shared his toys so generously with you. I'm excited for you to share your toys with him next time! I'm really proud of who you are, who you're becoming, and who I'm becoming because of you.
As always, I affirm that you are:
Every conscious parenting move I make will be in an attempt to keep you thriving, evolving, and becoming who you are meant to be.
I love being your mama.
I love who you are, forever, no matter what. And next time, share your damn toys. Stinker.