Sunday, May 14, 2017

To The Moms of Young Kids in 2017.

Dear Mothers of Young Children in 2017,

You are appreciated.

Thank you for every single lunch you made, and every caring note you wrote and tucked in the lunchbox. You did this every single day of the school year, and you weren't thanked a single time, but you continue to do it because your source of love for your children comes from the Divine.

And yet, the Divine has been historically called "Father God." Well, this year, I'm calling bullshit.

Thank you for every single dish you've put in the dishwasher, every single load of clean dishes you put away, every single dog hair you swept up, and every single load of disgusting human hair you took out of the hairbrush and threw away. Thank you for all of the comforting you provided for your teething child. Thank you for brushing your child's teeth. Thank you for finding clothes for your child. Thank you for feeding your child. Thank you for talking to, listening to, and playing with your child. Not one of these were acknowledged (and if you'd blown it off,  you know damn well you would have heard about it). But thank you.

Thank you for every load of laundry. Yes, all 12, every week, that you put in the washer, switch to the dryer, run an extra cycle because you're picking up your kid from school, take out of the dryer, fold, and put away. Thank you for doing this. If the laundry hadn't been done, you would've heard "Where is my white shirt? Where is my blue dress? I have no clean underwear!" but you did the laundry. You didn't hear a thank you. But you're getting it now.

Thank you for every class party. Thank you for every parent student conference. Thank you for every missed day of work so you could be present for your child. Thank you, to the moms who GAVE UP THEIR CAREERS AND ARE SOMEHOW RIDICULED FOR BEING LAZY?! Thank you to the moms who CAN'T TAKE A SICK DAY AND ARE SOMEHOW RIDICULED FOR BEING ABSENT PARENTS?!

Thank you for the fresh flowers that are always in the house. Thank you for the tidying up every other hour of every single day. Thank you for feeding the dogs, letting out the dogs, changing their water, and watering the house plants. Thank you for making this HOUSE A HOME.

Thank you for 9 months of SOBRIETY. Whether you asked for a child or winded up pregnant. Thank you for dealing with morning sickness, with heartburn, with monthly, then bi-weekly, then weekly appointments taking away from your career. Thank you for the lack of sleep, the cramping, the fatigue. Pregnancy is HARD. Thank you for BIRTHING. Whether you went without drugs, whether you did it from home, in the water, or you had an epidural, or you had a c-section. Who gives a shit. It's all hard.fucking.work. And not one man on the face of this planet EVER has done it. THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF LIFE.

Thank you to the moms who were willing to endure every ache, pain, contraction, and incision, but couldn't. And chose to pursue adoption or in vitro. Thank you for every paper you filled out, every appointment you scheduled. You are the organizer behind the scenes, and you do the bulk of the work. I know you do. You drive this ship, and your husband is called the Captain. Thank you.

Thank you to the biological moms who found themselves pregnant and knew they weren't ready. Let us not underestimate the wisdom and heartache they have been through. Warriors, every one of you.

Every act you do is taken for granted. Every single thing you do at this point is unacknowledged. You see your husband hold your toddler while walking from the park to the car and hear the accolades. "What a good daddy! What a hands-on father!" and you shrug it off. You know your efforts are taken for granted. He was born in a man's world, and so he is praised and you are constantly falling short. And if somehow, you are able to do every single thing expected of you, but somehow not fit in your pre-pregnancy jeans, or have your child naturally "the way God intended," or God Forbid, not have conceived and grown your child in utero, you are somehow innately flawed. You're not flawed. You're perfect. And you work your fine ass off every single day.

Thank you for dusting the house, or for finding the housekeeper who dusts your house and works out her schedule and pays her. Thank you for watching your children, or for finding the nanny who watches your children and works out her schedule and pays her. Thank you for planning your child's birthday party. Thank you for finding the babysitter for date night. Thank you for not having gone on a date for years, because you're a single mother and between work + parenting, there is no time for a love life.

Your children are too young to thank you so your children's father should.

And if he takes you for granted, just as most of this world does,
know that this woman,
behind this glowing screen,
sees you, acknowledges you, and thanks you.

And if he does appreciate you, and if he does thank you,
hold him close,
and know that he is a special man worthy of your love.

In the Name of The Mother, The Daughter, and The Holy Spirit. Amen.



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