Our Meeting with the Minister...

The weekend was full of wedding planning! My mom, Laura, and I met with our wedding coordinator (and saving grace), Lottie. I also had my second wedding dress fitting with Lisa. I couldn't be more excited about wearing my mom's dress. First of all, I much prefer the style than any of the current wedding styles. Had I gone dress shopping, I would've had to dig around to find a dress. Secondly, I get to customize it to make it my own. That's completely fun! I get to be creative AND sentimental. Finally, the savings is astronomical! The total cost will be around $350...To put things in perspective, most bridal gowns range from $1500-7000. Pretty darn pleased with my situation. Thanks, Mommy, for having great taste, even in the eighties!!!!

On a more serious note, George and I met with the minister today.

Background: In March of last year, I went to a panel discussion at the First United Methodist Church in Fort Worth. The discussion inspired so many deep thoughts, I had to write about it, and collected some of my thoughts here.  My grandparents are active members in this church. I was thrilled to meet with their minister, and good friend, Dr. Bill Longsworth.

Today, after giving him some background on our relationship, Rev. Longsworth told us that there were really two key components in a marriage.

(1) Communication
(2) Spiritual depth

He told us a story on communicating, asked us how we communicate, and parted wisdom on clearly and frequently communicating with one another. He then told us about a couple he counseled prior to marrying about 15 years ago.

They were sitting in the same chairs.
Looking forward to a lifetime of happiness together, as a married couple.

Ten years into the marriage, Dr. Longsworth received a phone call.
The woman was undergoing surgery for tumor removal, and Dr. Longsworth went to visit the couple while in recovery. Later, they discovered the woman had cancer. All the while, Dr. Longsworth was there, praying with the couple, and helping them through this difficult time.  Ultimately, the medication was not helping, and the woman was in a lot of pain.

Periodically while Dr. Longsworth was speaking, I caught myself thinking, "Surely the ending of this story will be how their faith got them through battling cancer!" I even thought, "Oh, George will have a similar story to share after this since his mom had and beat cancer!"....

....but the happy ending never came. The woman and her husband decided to let her go peacefully on a morphine drip. Dr. Longsworth saw me well up with tears, and assured me, "Now this isn't going to happen to you two, but you'll eventually lose your grandparents...parents...and it's going to be that level deeper, that spiritual connection, that pulls you through." I am paraphrasing, but the message that I received sunk in DEEP. I really connected to what he was saying and completely agreed with him. He was very realistic and relaxed. He told us to try to go to church twice a month. To find God in nature, with eachother, often. To listen to music to connect with the Higher Power.

He spoke so fondly of my grandparents. My grandparents, and Dr. Longsworth, are huge role models to me, and I am so grateful they are all going to be there on March 24th.

I've been pinning images representing my vision for our ceremony. I am completely taking on the role of a little girl and find myself daydreaming, thinking about "getting mawwwwwied"... but I have the brain of a conscientious twenty-four year old woman, and have put a lot of thought into my vows.

(Original Sources for these images are unknown (my apologies) but I found all of them on Pinterest.)

 My complete wedding board (filled with concepts and various inspiration) can be found here: 

This site has been instrumental in helping me gather thoughts and ideas on the wording for our ceremony.

I'm having a wonderful (and extremely emotional) time writing our ceremony. We are going to write it ourselves, and we are selecting each word very carefully. I told Rev. Longsworth, we have been together seven years...and we both only intend to do this once...so I don't want to just repeat words back to him. I want to mean exactly what I say, and say exactly what I mean. I want to honor my vows every single day. I want the ceremony to be an authentic, sacred ceremony. I want the love and joy to be palpable. I am not exaggerating when I say my biggest dream is coming true. I envision us "tying a knot" in a rope, not allowing us to slip back from here. As this process continues to move forward (rapidly), I find myself tearing up often. I don't want to gush and brag to my friends, so I find solace in this space, where I'm allowed to be as honest as I want. And quite honestly, I couldn't be happier. I don't recall ever feeling this grateful, this loved, this supported, this honored, this excited, this proud, this euphoric. I'm overflowing with emotion. I'm going to be a BASKETCASE on March. 24th!

(Just for fun I thought I'd include a website I stumbled upon. Our vows will be completely different from this couple's (every couple is different!), but just reading what they wrote and knowing they meditated on each promise prior to saying it, made me cry!) I don't know these people, this was from a website on writing your own ceremony!

"Jen's Vows"

I promise to curate a faithful and fantastic marriage with you.
I promise to treat you with kindness, respect, appreciation and silliness.
I promise to participate in our relationship, even when it might be hard.
I promise to let you know when you are getting too arrogant at backgammon.
I promise to roll my eyes with you, and not at you.
I promise to make laughter an integral part of our family.
I promise to love you until I am extinct.
Thank you for marrying me.

"Michael's Vows"

Jen, for the rest of our very, very long lives:
I promise to love you with all of my heart, honor you with all of my actions, and treasure you like actual treasure.
I promise to keep you warm when you get cold, and to stand in the way of the sun when it gets hot.
No matter how many books you get, or how many times we move, I promise to always carry them all.  Every time.
And wherever we go, I promise to be there, holding your hand and telling you, "I love you."
You're my best friend, and you're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Let's get really, really, really old together.
Thank you for marrying me.

Source: A Practical Wedding