I Can't Get Enough Of...

Well...my life has been in absolute CHAOS lately and I have had a few meltdowns. I have always hated being dismissed as "hormonal," whether before my pregnancy or now, in my 25th week. I usually hold it together, and if I have a melt down, it's because of the circumstances, and in my opinion, they are VALID.

As my body grows and I feel Sweet Baby move all the time, I feel a mix of emotions. Most days I have felt blissful and connected to Baby and Earth, as well as Mothers everywhere. However, the past few days I have felt like she will be here before we know it, and we don't have our lives in order for her arrival just yet! I'm sure she won't mind, being a little newborn with basic needs...but Mama WILL MIND! I want her to have my undivided time and attention, and if she were here now, I'd have some major separation anxiety with all of my commitments.

Lately, my stressors have been: lack of money, lack of time, and lack of energy. I know I need to focus on what I have in abundance, not what I'm lacking. 

So to balance out this post, I will be positive and say I have the BEST support network, including my husband, and the Van Meter unit (Mommy, Daddy, and Bud). My extended network is also incredible, and includes Al, one of my favorite people out there. He always makes me feel special, makes me laugh, and HELPS FIX OUR CARS! At the best rate in town!!

I also have amazing friends. I'm sad that my best friend at work won't be there tomorrow. I miss her so much already. But I am fortunate in that I have life long friends around the corner, and though I'm limited in time, we do manage to see each other regularly.


I'm trying to stay centered, breathe, and remain calm. There are a few things that help me with this:

Being Home. Specifically, in BED.

The occasional morning when I don't wake up at 5:00 AM, I feel a SURGE of peace and calm. I NEED more mornings like that. When I wake up without an alarm clock, make some breakfast quinoa and French Press coffee, and enjoy time with G, I feel better for the ENTIRE DAY. 

Lighting and Things That Smell GOOD.

This was one hell of a housewarming gift from my brother-in-law and his girlfriend. I absolutely love turning off the lights (especially since it gets dark SO early) and utilizing lamps in the house. I want to actually bring our lamps to the birth, so I can avoid fluorescent bulbs and feel that sense of 'calm' when I labor.

As usual, the Volcano candle by Aspen Bay is a constant in our home. The smell works as effectively as any aromatherapy (for me, anyway).

This oil diffuser was an amazing wedding gift from my friend Whitney and her mom. I love the smell of lavender and how the globe changes color with different chimes. The Relax tea helps too, of course. The alarm clock? Not so much. NOT my friend.

 Food. I Have Gained 30 pounds and I Have No Shame. 

Food is one of my ONLY indulgences, and I AM NOT HOLDING BACK.

Reading and Daydreaming.

At the beginning of the pregnancy, I read "Why Have Kids" by Jessica Valenti and "Misconceptions" by Naomi Wolf. These were some of THE BEST BOOKS I've ever read. THESE are the kind of books I'm into. "What To Expect When You're Expecting" is WAY too much of a "How-To" read. I'm into the spiritual, psychological, and sociological aspects of birth and parenting, not so much the logistics. I'll get there...maybe.

I quickly finished "Skinny Bitch Bun in the Oven" (all about a vegan diet in pregnancy...which I HAVE NOT ADHERED TO but do find interesting) and am currently obsessed with "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin. I had an actual dream about meeting Ina May at The Farm, and have not been able to stop day dreaming since. 

As a result of aforementioned day dreams, I have thought about how George and I could take one last roadtrip before the baby comes. We have been on two memorable roadtrips, one that had no set destination (but included Ruidoso and Marfa) and of course, our Honeymoon from San Fran up to Seattle.

Thinking about the hummingbirds on the porch of the gorgeous cabin we stayed in for the Tinker Family Reunion, and knowing that during that calm, beautiful, loving time in the beautiful mountains, we made a baby...thinking back on that makes me feel calm. So often, I daydream about our most recent Ruidoso trip, and try to allow that sense of calm to flood over me so Baby can feel it and remember why she came to us.

Oh, and the last thing I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF?

Deep breathing.

xoxo,

L