PRK Surgery Tomorrow!

15 days ago, I stopped wearing contacts, and went back to my adorable, but not so comfortable, glasses.

I have been wanting LASIK eye surgery for about 6 years now. My prescription continued to change throughout college, so I wasn't a candidate. Well, my prescription hasn't changed in a couple of years. I went to the optometrist for my annual exam at the end of last year and decided I am going to do this!!!!

Since my car will be paid off entirely in a couple of months, I can AFFORD this surgery (I am using Care Credit for financing and that allows me to pay 30% down and pay the rest off, interest free, for a year)! Financially, it is a smart move, because my job does not cover dental or vision, and my vision costs are very expensive. Contacts, contact solution, and annual exams, WITHOUT help from insurance adds up QUICKLY! I think this surgery will pay for itself within a couple of years.

I went on Monday for testing with my optometrist, and I had an interesting time getting dilated!!!! They do the tests the first time without any alterations, and the second time after you've been dilated, to make sure you can see in different settings after the surgery. I've never been dilated before, and it was strange. The natural light was so bright I had to wear a removable shade in my glasses. I wasn't technically legal to drive home after my appointment (mainly because I discovered my glasses prescription is so old, I'm only seeing 20/80 or so with them on!), but I managed!

That is one large pupil! Hardly any brown left! Freaky.

My sweet unibrow-shade-in-the-glasses

Well, today, I went to the opthamologist's office. I just want to throw it out there that my surgeon went to OU Medical School, and I literally feel like I can trust him more because of that. That might be dumb, but on top of it being a prestigious program, I thought it was a great sign. I work in surgery, so I know first hand it's easy to look at the patient's specific concern and forget who the patient is. I told him I went to OU Nursing School and we talked about Norman for a bit.

After establishing trust with him, he told me he would recommend PRK over LASIK surgery tomorrow. I was caught off guard, but eager to hear his reasoning.

This chart outlines the differences between LASIK eye surgery and PRK eye surgery.

Basically, my corneas are not too thin to do LASIK, but he's a conservative surgeon, and told me there was a little bit of risk because my corneas are slightly thinner than average. I wish it could have been my thighs he was talking about, but nonetheless, he said LASIK could leave me disappointed long-term. My eyes might weaken back to how they are now in 10 years. With PRK, I'll have long-term results. Until I need glasses to read up close (which I shouldn't have to worry about for a good 25 years), I should be good to go!

The downside? The recovery. With LASIK I would have been able to see close to 20/20 the next day. I would have been able to go back to work on Monday (as I had planned!). With PRK I won't be able to drive or work until THURSDAY. They told me to anticipate feeling sandy, gritty, and not seeing very well at all for a few DAYS.

What's ridiculous is how my list of "lazy things I'll get to do" quickly shortened. Catch up on my DVR? Nope. Read? Nope. Go outside? Nope. Not unless I wear light-blocking GOGGLES. Run errands? Nope. I even drew out charts with my medications and instructions, as well as addresses for my post-operative appointments and phone numbers, because I'll be completely helpless! I thought that would help George out while he plays nurse. Ha. One thing though that I am keeping in mind, is this is elective surgery. I work in elective surgery. We tell our patients to anticipate the worst, and if they heal more quickly, they get excited. If they heal more slowly, they don't freak out. Basically, if they're telling me it will be 6 weeks before I see my best, I figure that means the LEAST healthy person took 6 weeks. And I'm young, healthy, and a good patient. So I hope I'll be able to at least catch The View this week at 10, LIVE, for a change. We will see. Wait. No pun intended... I'll at least listen!!!!

Pain Pill, Nausea Pill (MY request since I've never taken hydrocodone and I know people get sick on that a lot!), Antibiotic eye drop, Steroid eye drop, and Steroid dose pack. 

I tried to make it easy for George.

Yes, I suffer a mild case of OCD.

They told me to be patient, because it can take up to 6 weeks for my eyes to fully heal, and for me to see close to 20/20. And there's always the risk I won't see 20/20. My optometrist told me she's 99% sure I'll see 20/20 out of my right eye, and 90% sure I'll see 20/20 out of my left, but even if I don't, it will be better than I am seeing with my contacts now. I have astigmatism in my left eye, and can't see out of my contact about 80% of the time. It's weighted, and never sits right on my eye. It also gets extremely dry and "sandy" (I'm going to hit myself for comparing that discomfort to the pain I'll experience this time tomorrow!) every night by 7:00 or so. Contacts just weren't cutting it for my left eye!

Price-wise, I'm paying $3600, and that includes all testing, all appointments, and any necessary revisions (which is a good question to ask because this is commonly performed, and usually patients are charged for the revision). This did NOT include prescriptions. Those prices will vary based on each individual's insurance. My insurance sucks. Sorry to be frank, but it's true. Thankfully, I have an HSA, and I can use that to cover prescriptions. I paid $140.68 in prescriptions. Once I can see well enough to blog (and I'm allowed to look at a computer screen...I hear that's bad right after surgery), I'll update with photos and info in case anybody out there in the world wide web is interested in this procedure!!!!!!

All in all, I'm excited. I'm glad I'm finally doing it! It feels good to have a goal and finally reach out and get it. I just hope the next 6 weeks go by fast!

God is the Why; Science is the How

At the University of Oklahoma, I took about 25 hours of pure science-based classes. These included chemistry, zoology, microbiology, anatomy, and physiology. The more I learned about science, the more I felt I understood "how" our bodies work, and "how" our planet thrives.

Science: The How

I had an epiphany while I was sitting in a physiology lecture; though I'm not sure it happened at that moment, but rather, after it permeated my brain and even deeper within for a while.

Raised a Christian, I can admit I have had my doubts, questions, and concerns with Christianity as a religion. I think of all religions, it is the one I can relate to MOST, but I definitely had moments when I thought religion tore people apart more than it did bring people together. I witnessed this most often in debate of scholarly, intelligent, atheists with science backing their belief that there is not a God...with loyal, faithful, devoted Christians with faith backing their belief that there IS a God.

I'm sure you've heard the tale:

A professor asks a student if he believes in God. 

The student replies, "Yes."

He asked if his God was good.

"Yes."

"Did God create the Universe and everything in it?"

"Yes."

"Including Satan, hell, cancer, and war?"

The student squirms...then asks the professor, "Do you believe in hot and cold?"

The professor replies, "Yes."

The student asks, "Even though there is no such thing as 461 degrees Fahrenheit, or 1 degree below 'absolute zero'?"

The professor squirms...

The student replies, "There is no such thing as cold; only an ABSENCE OF HEAT. Your argument is flawed because it presents a duality. God is neither good nor bad. He is neither Heaven nor Hell. He is all-encompassing, and the moment you present Him as a duality, you lose sight of all He has to offer."

I got that in a forwarded e-mail years ago, and at the bottom of the e-mail it said "this student was Albert Einstein." I don't know if that is true or an urban legend, but that is not my point!

For me, the more I learned about SCIENCE, the more I felt there WAS a strong, omnipresent FORCE or ENERGY that was absolutely undeniable. For me, GOD IS THE WHY. SCIENCE IS THE HOW.

The moment I was referring to in physiology lecture was one involving childbirth. We were discussing the topic as it relates to hormones and neurotransmitters. When an infant both cries and suckles the mother's breast, there is stimulation of a neurotransmitter to tell the pituitary gland in the mother to release PROLACTIN and OXYTOCIN. Prolactin causes your body to take nutrients from your blood supply and turn them into breast milk. OXYTOCIN causes the milk to eject down the milk ducts. Also, release of the oxytocin hormone while breastfeeding after labor will cause the uterus to contract.

If you are really interested in this, and care for a more detailed (but still understandable) explanation, click HERE for a website I found that sums it up well.

Baby stimulus to Mother releases oxytocin from the posterior pituitary gland. Oxytocin assists the mother's body in contracting the uterus and ejecting milk.

Though this is just ONE ELEMENT of our incredible human-body-machine, I find it a fascinating merge between science and God. We need these hormones to evolve. I don't really understand the thought of "believing" in evolution, as it is proven, and no longer a belief or thought. We have evolved in 2011 from our parents and grandparents! And of course this extends back to thousands, millions, and BILLIONS of years ago. However, this merely explains the HOW. These hormones that are released explain HOW breastmilk is created and HOW it is released and HOW the baby is fed, nourished, and able to thrive as a human being.

But WHY?

The more I learned about how the body works, the more I felt we were a perfectly designed machine. Humans have created and re-created the COMPUTER how many times?! The phone?! Technology as we know it is constantly evolving. And humans are, too. Who is fine-tuning us? How does our body innately know to release prolactin and oxytocin? Prior to infant formula, if this didn't occur, the baby DIDN'T LIVE. That, my friends, is EVOLUTION. We have evolved so that women with hormone deficiencies can still nurture their children! But I think it is healthy for us to stop and wonder why our bodies are here, and why they work as beautifully and wonderfully as they do. Knowing that the female body is capable of feeding a child is one thing, but knowing WHY is another. This ability provides bonding time between mother-and-baby. It provides an unspoken understanding to the infant that this mother will provide love and food for this child because her body is DESIGNED to perform these tasks. The infant doesn't ask why. The infant has NO IDEA what has just happened! This infant has been sucked out of his or her warm, safe, cozy womb! And this infant screams and cries until he or she attaches to the mother and TRUSTS. This trust turns in to love and an eternal bond (hopefully) between mother and child. I believe this to be holy and sacred, and whether that is "Christian," or any other religion, I do not care. This is what I cling to as part of my spiritual faith. Science is a huge part of it for me. Thank GOD for prolactin and oxytocin!!!!

God: The Why

I know many people who do not want to wonder. I wonder; it's innate within me. However, I think we can all agree on one thing-Atheists, Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims, Agnostics, (fill in Religion here), alike. We can be THANKFUL.

"If the only prayer you ever say is 'thank you,' it would be sufficient."

-meister eckhart

the magical cottage

Once Upon a Time...

In May of 2008, a senior nursing student at the University of Oklahoma was looking for a new place to live.

She was driving around in her mom's car, going up and down the beautiful historic streets, wishing she could one day afford one of those beautiful homes, rich with history, but knew until then, she would likely need to settle for a nearby apartment.

Until the girl and her mom noticed a sign.

The sign said:

The Sign Read: FOR RENT
Cottage in Alley

The girls called the phone number, and looked instantly at the cottage. Upon walking in, the girl literally had tears in her eyes. She knew the rent, at $550, was slightly out of reach. However, the feeling she had, was INSTANT peace, comfort, and tranquility. Not only was it too expensive, but the landlord also told her he hadn't rented to a tenant with a pet. She told him that her maltese was part of the package-deal, and she was so sad to have to walk away.

The landlord had built this house himself, and had a lot of pride at stake. He sensed the girl's instant devotion and care for his little gem. And after a couple of moments....

....he told her he'd negotiate.

The happy girl and her pup moved in that summer of 2008.

And so began a beautiful relationship between a girl and her cottage.....

This was the room the girl slept in. Next to the mirror on the wall was a little nook that a chair was tucked away in. There was a window, and a large tree. The girl would sometimes curl up in this chair, and listen to the birds and squirrels. The house was happy the girl felt safe and comfortable inside, even though the girl was alone.

There wasn't need for much decoration in the kitchen, because the house was filled with character.
Granite countertops, wood floors and cabinets, and stone-tile backsplash were put in by the landlord, the maker of the cottage.

When the weather was nice, this window remained opened. The cottage was tucked away, and the girl felt safe leaving her windows open even while she was away.

The house was covered in trees that had been there long before the girl was born. The girl felt grateful for these trees every single day. Even when they stained the top of her car.

The house wasn't very interested in politics, but she was never bothered that the girl would voice her opinion prior to people walking through the front door.

Walks in the coveted neighborhood were always a joy for the girl. This was a photo taken on her street, Lahoma Ave. The trees grew very tall here.

Christmas time came around, and the decorations the girl purchased were simple. The house was made of wood and didn't need much more than a small, understated tree.

A little icy garland on the ledge that separated the kitchen from the sitting room. The house felt like the girl had put a necklace on her. She enjoyed the modest jewelry for the holiday.

The girl would allow her visiting boyfriend to stay on the occasional weekend, but it was HER cottage, and he was just a lucky visitor.

The girl would have friends, family, and regulars from the bar she worked at (walking distance from the cottage, "The Library Bar and Grille") come over anytime. She enjoyed the company. The girl was so proud to show off her home.
Her FAVORITE company was her best friend, Jen. Jen also lived in Norman, but loved the cottage more than her own house! The cottage was a retreat for these two girls. Often, the girls would sit on the couch and talk. And that would last for hours. Wine would flow and laughs would roll out. Breeze would blow in the window, and birds would sing. There was very little sound of traffic. There was a lot of beautiful music. The cottage felt filled to the brim with love.

The girl learned how to grill herself, and when the weather was nice, she would cook outside of the house. 

The girl even invited her favorite professor over and cooked dinner. The girl, the professor, and the professor's daughter, ate on this picnic table, and enjoyed the lovely day. The girl thanked the professor for passing on her knowledge, and the girl graduated from the University. 

When the girl graduated from OU, she got a job, and bought a nice TV. The house didn't mind, because it kept the girl around even more often.
 

The girl also bought a new car. She felt like she was growing up. The house was happy for the girl, but deep down, did not like the car because when the girl got in the car, she left the house. Ultimately, the house knew the girl would move and drive the car back to Texas.

In May of 2010, after 2 wonderful years, the girl began packing up boxes. Her parents and boyfriend came up from Texas and helped her with several car-loads. To thank them, she took them to drinks and lunch at The Library. When they were finished, her parents started driving back to Texas, and Lindsay knew what she had to do. She walked back in the bare and empty cottage, and sat down inside. The house felt so naked...and lonely already. How could anybody else love this cottage as this girl had??
Her boyfriend sat behind her, and hugged her while she felt her emotions in all of their entirety. Tears did not stop falling. The girl felt she was a part of this house, and she felt a part of her would not be leaving. In the midst of her grief, there was a knock on the door.
The girl answered, and saw her best friend. She gave the girl her karma necklace, a beautiful and symbolic piece of jewelry between the two friends.
The friends sobbed, hugged, and parted ways. The girl's boyfriend drove back to Texas in his own car. The girl was to follow, after returning her key.

Walking out of the house and locking the door for the final time was so bittersweet. I tear up as I write this. I walked two doors down, to my landlord's house. I sobbed and thanked him for taking the girl with the dog. For building such a beautiful and wonderful home. For coming over at midnight when I saw a flying roach and was scared. For putting out mouse poison when I didn't know what to do. For teaching me how to plug in a washer and dryer.

For giving me the experience.

I will never have an experience quite like this one, ever again. But I am so grateful for these memories. And I am grateful for this medium, as a way for me to express my emotions. I have not been able to look at these photos since I lived in the cottage. Though I have visited Norman several times, I have not driven by. I missed her too much. I will go back in a couple of weeks, and I think I'll drive by. But I know I'll cry....