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Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Putting myself first.

Today was a lovely day off. Wednesdays are my favorite days to have off, because it breaks up the week, and I can be more productive than on the weekends when many businesses are closed.


Yesterday, I'd told George it would be nice to spend the majority of our day together, since his classes don't start up until next week.


I knew he'd be working on the top level of the music studio, but he said he could finish up early and come hang out with me for the afternoon.


This morning, I asked him, "Does that mean real person time, or George time, because typically you run a few hours late, and I don't want to wait or waste my day off." He got really defensive. After arguing, we got off the phone, and I went on about my day.


Today, I exercised. AND I NEVER WORK OUT! I felt good about myself, and it felt nice doing something I wouldn't do if we'd been together, nor would I have done if I'd had to work. I thought, "what else can I do, just for me?"


I hit up the library.




I haven't been to the public library in way too long. I got on one of the computers, and took a lesson in Portuguese. It was fascinating, stimulating, and fun, learning on my terms.





I gathered up a stash of great reads...





I got a pedicure...

I washed my clothes and the dogs...






And while laundry was circulating, I put my nose in a few good books. 


I LOVE the smell of books. New ones, old ones, "library" ones...they all have distinct smells, and I love them all.


Now, as I hear the dryer pushing clothes 'round and 'round, I'm typing again, which I've not done a lot of lately (relatively speaking, since my family often lovingly refers to me as the "internet whore").


I called George and when he answered, I told him I was sorry for upsetting him and for making him feel a need to be defensive. But I told him what I said, I still mean, only now I see it as a positive. If I had a boyfriend who dropped everything for me, I wouldn't take the time to drop everything for myself. I had a FANTASTIC day. It was self-centered, and I selfishly admit, I enjoyed it fully.


I am looking forward to dinner and drinks with my friend from OU tonight, and if George makes it over later, great. If not, my books will suffice, and I'll be just fine. 


I think we have a type of relationship other people might question or look at with cynicism, but I'll say, while being with George, I've learned more about myself than I could have with anybody else. And in the big picture, I think that's what I'm here to do. Get to know who I am, why I'm here, and how I can make this place better. George encourages all of these things, with active and passive roles. I'm once again, grateful.

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