{An Update on} Life Within and Life Around

Few things are better than being outside on a 70 degree day.

About a month ago, I had one of these, and spent some time connecting with life around me, through the macro lens on my iPhone. Sprout and I listened to some great tunes while I took off my shoes and enjoyed the day. 

I much prefer my relaxed, earthy feet (left) to my over-worked, swollen feet (right).

Still, I'm grateful to be employed, and to have an income. I brought my most recent sonogram up to work, so when I grab a suture for the surgeon, I can also sneak a peak at our growing baby. 

It feels to weird to post a photo of the sonogram on the internet...but I'll post a photo of a photo of a photo. Hehe.

I finally caught up on laundry two weeks ago. Our washer/dryer is broken, and it is too much of a pain to lug laundry to our parents' every weekend, so we've been letting it pile up for a month, then one of us hits the laundromat and knocks it out all at once. While I was there, a sweet old woman came up to me and offered help. That felt so strange! I thanked her for her kindness, but told her I'd prefer a hug. I love random kindness from strangers.

George still cooks for me occasionally. Usually after a good grocery run. He's there now, so I have high hopes for this week. 

Thankfully I'm still allowed one cup of caffeine/day. I cash in at 5:00 AM and have a ritualistic cup of joe every morning. I can't imagine going without. True addiction. I love how it warms my bones. Sprout's heartbeat has been consistently in the 140s, so I feel reassured that the minimal caffeine intake isn't harming her.

Fresh flowers make the place smell nice, and I love having life in our home. With four animals, fresh flowers, Sprout dancin' all around all the time, and the two of us, our home feels full of life. 

 An Update...

We have been looking to buy a home for months now. We have gotten close on about 3-4. The closest we have come was about a month ago, when we signed a contract for a darling home in my old stomping grounds. Only 7 minutes from my folks, and 15 from Georgie's. Walking distance to the elementary school I attended. The home looked structurally sound (a miracle, I swear!) and had a great floorplan. She could use some cosmetic improvements, which was exactly what we were looking for. A place where we could plant our roots, and make cosmetic improvements overtime, creating a worthwhile real estate investment. The comps in the area were much higher than our bid. We felt so lucky, and so relieved to finally get so close.

Then the contract went into "short sale." Which is ironic, since there is nothing "short" about it. Apparently, we could be waiting on this house for a year. It has nothing to do with us, and everything to do with the current lienholder and seller. Very frustrating with a ticking timebomb growing daily inside of me.

Fortunately, both sets of parents are supportive and generous of time, money, and space. I feel like they are this safety net lifting us up in a stressful time. 

We will likely move our things into storage, and move in with my parents in the beginning of April. We will go back and forth between both sets of parents so as not to overstay our welcome at either home, and to have a change of routine. 

At first, I felt devastated by this idea. Like it was moving backwards, or I was failing as an adult. But now, I feel so blessed. How lucky are we to live so close to our parents?! And to have parents willing to take us back with open arms?! And in the meanwhile, we will be aggressively looking for another home in our price-range and desired area. If we find it, fantastic! We can nest, and have a "nursery" for little Sprout.

But if we don't, we have a roof over our heads, and Sprout will have a 'village' surrounding her with love. I think that could be a huge blessing. The more she is held by other people, the less clingy she will be toward me. She will better socialized, and better acclimated in family gatherings. Plus, I won't have to stress as much about money, which has really had me on edge lately. Also, we won't desire or long for as much "stuff" if we are in another home, because we won't have a room for her. We won't collect a bunch of stuff that will end up in a garage sale 3 years from now. BRING ON THE HAND-ME-DOWNS! 

Rather than being raised in a culture of consumerism, Sprout will be raised in a culture of family and love...and that will be true regardless of where we live. People who go crazy with those registry guns are fooled into thinking they need that "stuff." Babies have been around a lot longer than all the plastic crap that fills the walls of BuyBuyBaby and Babies R Us.

Times just aren't like they used to be. Health insurance for a family of three will cost us well over $1000 a month (with a $10,000 deductible!) through my work. Fortunately, our cars are both paid off, and we don't have any student loans (thanks again to those awesome parents and grandparents of ours). 

So when other moms or preggos are talking about their nursery, or the fear they have of giving birth, or their horrible maternity leave, or their weight gain, or their morning sickness, or how horrible being pregnant is...I remind myself that "the struggle is part of the story." That is my current photo on my desktop, actually! 

Physically, pregnancy isn't that bad (swollen ankles aside).

Psychologically, I think it is anxiety-ridden, and bliss-filled. Simultaneously.  

Because my maternity leave is unpaid, and as a RN, I make an hourly wage. 

And we won't have a nursery unless something miraculous happens in the next 6-10 weeks. 

I'm not fearful of labor. I can endure anything for a day. And women have been having babies for all of time. I'm actually excited (feel free to roll your eyes). The concept of being a vessel that brings a spiritual being into a physical being is an honor, and I think it will be a transformative and spiritual moment.

I'm more nervous to have a baby, who deserves the world, and falling short as a parent. My parents set the bar SO HIGH, I just want to pass on that legacy to our baby. I need to. I know we will, but getting there will be the struggle. 

I'm so thankful for our network of people who love us, and who already love Sprout. And who stand beside us and lift us up, and encourage us. 

There have been a few bad days lately, but I'm determined to focus on the positive, and remember that awesome (and applicable) verse I heard in church on Sunday with my parents and grandparents...

Romans 5:3-5

Not only this, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 
⁴ perseverance produces character; 
and character produces hope. 
⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, 
because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, 
who has been given to us.

xoxo,

L