The Convergence of Conservative Values and Feminists in the Natural Parenting Movement

I think it's interesting to see mamas on both ends of the political spectrum embracing the cloth diaper, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, baby-food-making, and sadly, often, anti-vaxxing. I never thought some of my dreadlocked hippy friends from college would have so much in common with some of my super conservative Christian friends from high school! What gives??

One of my favorite feminist authors, Valenti, said in an interview ((about how the natural parenting movement can be the point of convergence for conservative values and anti-consumerist feminism)),

"At the core of it, I think, is a distrust of institutions – which for women, makes a lot of sense to me. The feminism at the heart of the homebirth movement, for example, is women being fed up with their bodies being pathologized and being told that they need all of these medical interventions to give birth. I get that. The medical establishment – and the government – has spent forever telling women they don’t know what is up with their own bodies, so it’s understandable that there’s a backlash against that. But there’s a difference between having a healthy skepticism of traditionally sexist institutions and believing that your “instinct” trumps science and established fact – which is what the anti-vaccination movement is very much about...." -Jessica Valenti

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This recent post circulating my FB minifeed caught my attention, and just as I was starting to "share" it as a status, I realized my commentary evolved from a status update to a blogpost. So here goes.

In 2011, when the US saw the largest measles outbreak in 15 years, the CDC attributed it to small groups of unvaccinated children.

Typically, the pockets of outbreaks occur in either upper-middle-class, white neighborhoods, or extremely religious communities.

An alternative private school in Floyd County, Virginia, had to shut down because half of its students got whooping cough in April 2011. ALL of the students who contracted the virus were unvaccinated. A resurgence of pertussis also cropped up in California in 2010 because of unvaccinated kids-it was the worst outbreak in over 60 years. Rich kids. Hippie kids. Religious kids. So what's the common denominator?

Is it the need to feel validation? Is it the need to reject "Big Brother"? Is it rebellion? Mother's intuition? What is it???

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In Why Have Kids, author Jessica Valenti explains the reason Jenny McCarthy had so much success establishing a following of moms against vaccines ((out of fear of autism)):

"When McCarthy was confronted with a statement from the CDC during her 2007 Oprah appearance that pointed out the overwhelming scientific evidence against her, her response perfectly captured the sentiment of moms across the country, 

"My science is Evan. He's at home. That's my science."

-Jenny McCarthy

So for a generation of parents-mothers especially-who are extremely uncomfortable with not feeling in control and increasingly more interested in trusting their own knowledge over experts, the anti-vaccination movement is perfect. 

When a cause comes along that says: "You do the research, trust yourself, Big Pharma is trying to get one over on you," that's a very seductive message to a population that is sick and tired of not being respected. That's why, in part, women tend to be more anti-vaccination than men. They're more vocal not only because they tend to be the ones that are making decision about children, but they're also the ones who are more invested in the idea of their own knowledge as expertise....

What many parents don't realize is the way in which Internet searches are based. Google, for example, learns what you're interested in and will give you search results according to those interests. So let's say you search for 'vaccine autism' and you click on a website that claims to show a connection between the disorder and vaccinations, the next time you do a similar search, Google will remember what you clicked on and show you like-minded results in your follow-up searches....

Doing research on Google does not put us on par with an inoculation researcher, and staying on top of the minutiae of our children's lives does not mean that we don't need help and support from actual experts." 

-Jessica Valenti

To function healthily as a society, we have to think about the community, not just ourselves. Assuming the anti-vaxxers truly believe that vaccines are poisonous//dangerous, despite the experts saying otherwise, how does not vaccinating your kid help your community? It doesn't. Where as, on the other side of the argument, pro-vaxxers not only see themselves as protecting their child, but also their community. I know that by vaccinating Lilah Grace, I've not only done my part to keep her safe, but I also have eliminated the risk of her being a threat to the immunocompromised population in my community.

Another example of natural parenting sometimes going to an extreme...opting out of public school because you don't like the education system, and you think your kid deserves better. I know how important education is. Arguably, the most important and modifiable factor in a child's future. So while I understand the desire to home school, or even send to private school, the bleeding heart in me just has to ask...

Why not volunteer in the PTA? Offer help to your child's teacher? Make suggestions to the principal that improve the school as a whole! Why not make your public school better?

What good is it if you raise this "perfectly educated child" at home, or at an expensive private school ((per your individualized, unique standards)) if when they enter the "real world," everybody else has been in the shitty school system? Do you think your one kid is going to trump the majority? IMPROVE THE MAJORITY!!
*obligatory disclaimer...I withdraw these statements for kids with special needs. I'm talking about the average kid, at the average public school. If you have a child with special needs, and you're fortunate enough to be able to provide them with a specialized education to help them have an equal opportunity in life, I get it. 100%.

I wish more people had the desire to improve their tribe, community, and even the world, instead of just their kid.

"I believe that the community - in the fullest sense: a place and all its creatures - is the smallest unit of health and that to speak of the health of an isolated individual is a contradiction in terms." -Wendell Berry

We live online now. I am acutely aware of the time I spend consuming social media. And I don't think it's going anywhere! One of my favorite functions of Instagram is feeling like I'm constantly in contact with other moms, doing the same thing as me. I have to say, I often feel like social media is a positive outlet for me, because I am inspired by other women, and feel a connection to other women. When my mom used to stay home with me, she was alone. Completely alone. All day, with a baby. Then, all day, with a 3 year old and a baby. I feel plugged in with other moms, and I feel this sense of feminine community. I don't want to disconnect from that. But, I also see how some people don't use social media in the same way that I do. Some people get really stressed out!

What's worse, some people think that by clicking on a certain number of hashtags, or googling a phrase enough times, they have more knowledge than somebody who actually received a degree in the subject matter. That is when social media becomes not just a nuisance, but actually dangerous. We are now living in a time when people make life-altering decisions based on information they found online, rather than trusting professionals.

Photo Source: @aquarian_dawn

I know that you can find "scientific posts" ((via Google...hehe)) that back up the anti-vaxx stance. I know that this is a heated topic, and people take it personally, because in the end, we all want to be good parents. I want to be clear, I don't think anti-vaxxers are bad parents. I think they want what's best for their kids, and they think they know what's best for their kids. My objection to the stance, is maybe they don't know what's best. Maybe the experts do. And maybe it's okay to defer to experts; it doesn't make intuition flawed, and it doesn't mean parents are naive to trust the experts.

On that note, I find myself feeling way less smug and judgmental when an expert has an opinion that goes against mainstream. For example, if I were to meet a medical doctor ((I have worked alongside them daily for 6 years now, and have yet to find one, but I remain open minded!)) who was anti-vaxx, I would be very interested in hearing their perspective. They have knowledge that I don't. The same argument would apply for a teacher who decides to home school her children. In short, I respect the professionals, and I defer to the experts.

While I am completely aware that this blogpost isn't likely to sway any opinions, or change anybody's mind, I do hope to expand the conversation.

I want the conversation to include what is best for the community, because it DOES matter. If we can't agree on that, I don't think the conversation is worth being had in the first place.

xo,
L