((Lack of)) Religion and Child-Rearing

What is religion?
According to Wikipedia, "A religion is an organized collection of beliefs, cultural systems, and world views that relate humanity to an order of existence."




Living in Texas and consciously avoiding church is still really frowned upon. So before I plunge into this post, I feel the need to make a couple of disclaimers.



A lack of religion does not mean a lack of faith.
Nor does a lack of religion mean a lack of values.
 

When I think about the most important text in regard to raising Lilah Grace, I don't think about the Bible, or the Lord's Prayer. I think of some lines from Desiderata.

"You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul."

I was raised in the Methodist church, probably the most lax of all the denominations in the south. I never had a bad experience in the church. I've blogged countless times about religion, because I think about it all the time. To read more musings, you can check out the bar to the right, under "Soul: Musings on Spirituality", or a few of these links to specific posts:



Stages of Religious Development
Thoughts on Christianity
Freedom and Security...A Spectrum
The Kingdom of Heaven Is At Hand





In the Kingdom of Heaven Is At Hand post,  I wrote about my views on Heaven and Hell:

"Hell is not some fiery pit with a fictional cartoon character complete with horns and a pitchfork, dancing in fire...I would have to really try to believe something like that, and even if I really tried, I just couldn't. That seems so juvenile, so silly. We can see with our eyes pain and despair, and separation from God, right here, right Now. And seeing that, and not helping, but rather, coming from a place of self-righteousness, does more harm than good. Believing in a Hell doesn't make it real, and it doesn't save anybody. Donating money to natural disasters, donating time and service...that makes a difference. Showing people love, and opening people's eyes to the beauty all around them...that is the most effective way to "save somebody" from Hell. We don't have to wonder if Hell exists, or if Heaven is real. We can see it, and experience it. And we can make a difference."

So why am I blogging about this again? Because we were pre-school shopping for our little toddler.



The first program I checked out was the program I attended as a toddler. And the truth is, I think it's a great program. I've heard rave reviews, the staff seems great, the facility is nice. And it's in a church.



The second program I checked out also had great reviews, but was even more affordable. I loved the lady I was in correspondence with, and the woman who gave us the tour was very pleasant. The classrooms looked fun, and again, nothing negative to report. It was also in a church.



The third program was an academy. Like, a non-religious school. It's almost twice the cost of pre-school in churches. But I had to wonder, why? Probably because they don't have the help from a church congregation who tithes to offset the cost. I am not sure if private schools are tax-exempt, but I know churches are, so also knowing those pre-school programs at churches don't have to pay tax could explain the price difference ((maybe, not sure)). Most importantly, the smaller class sizes had so much order to them. The students were so engaged. They were really learning. The teachers were far from militant ((I didn't see that anywhere, at any program)), yet they had the students' attention. It seemed as though the previous programs were daycare programs, and this was an actual classroom. Of course, the classes seemed developmentally appropriate and fun, but with learning as the goal.



My mom and good friend teach at an elementary school and told me the students from the academy always stood out as being the best students. So, naturally, I wanted to send LG there. The only thing holding us back was the money. Fortunately, both sets of our parents chipped in to offset the cost, so we were able to make the decision that was best for us.


((Again, where would we be without our tribe?? I am eternally grateful for the support we have in raising LG with a total village mentality.))


I'm thrilled to say LG is enrolled and starts school in September at our first choice program.

This was the first time when we really confronted the "church" issue as parents. I have to be clear, it's not that we sleep in on Sundays and are "lazy Christians." We consciously are choosing to raise Lilah with faith and love for humanity and the Universe, but not with dogma.


I've felt Spirit, I've been moved to tears, and moved to my knees in prayer. I am far from "atheist". I think more than anything, people like me feel misunderstood. I long to belong to a community, but I know I do not belong in a church community. To me, the Bible ((I've read a lot more of that book than most Christians)) is a great historical collection of writings from men. But I do not believe it is Holy, nor do I believe God wrote it. I believe men were inspired by who THEY BELIEVE GOD TO BE, and wrote it. That does not necessarily mean I'm inspired in the same way, and that is okay.


I recently asked Lilah Grace, "Lilah, who is God?"
Long pause. Then, she answered,
"My friend."


I smiled, and thought, "Me too."


When it comes to education, we made the conscious choice not to implement Bible or Chapel time. We thought it out, and it feels best for us.


My hope through all of this parenting journey is that Lilah Grace knows we have her spirit, mind, and ultimately her life, at the forefront of all of our decisions, and will make our decisions mindfully.


If she decides to pursue religion on her own, I'll be happy to drive her to and from church/temple/mosque, and ask her questions while showing interest in her musings. If I feel she is endangered, I'll intervene, but otherwise, I'll encourage her to explore her options, rather than telling her from the beginning that there is only one way.