Monday, September 7, 2015

Dear Baby,

Well hello, there.

Feeling you move around has been such a delight. Our placenta is anterior, so I've had a more difficult time feeling you when you were smaller, but now at 24 weeks, I definitely feel you move regularly throughout the days and nights.

You've been such a great baby! You haven't made me sick, and I've felt really happy and peaceful carrying you with me everywhere we go. I like knowing that even on my drives to work, I'm not alone; we are together, pumping the same blood, sharing space in my body. I am honored to be your mama.Your daddy and sister love you so much, too! Lilah has started even called you "her baby" instead of "the baby" a few times. She'll often pat on my tummy and say "I love you" or "Hi Baby" all on her own. When it's just you, me, and Daddy in bed, he'll put his hand on my tummy and talk to you. We love knowing that you can hear us now, and that the sounds of our busy home are already becoming familiar to you. Hopefully that means when you arrive, the constant barking of Teddy and Stella won't wake you up or annoy you. Hehe.

Cravings: The oddest craving I've had has been ricotta cheese with a spoon, followed by a spoonful of cherry preserves. Mmmm. Still sounds good, actually. I've really enjoyed cannoli, too. I think you really like that good ricotta cheese. I'll be sure to get you started on lasagna early in life. Also, coffee still sounds perfect, at any hour of the day. Alcohol has been much easier to give up than cutting back on coffee has been. I have 2 cups of "half caff" a day. And I could easily have 10. No aversion to it whatsoever. Honestly, this has been the toughest part of the pregnancy, but it's much easier now that we're in the second trimester and I'm not as tired.

Sex*: When I first found out I was pregnant, I thought "BOY!" I have had 2 dreams so far, and in the first you were a boy, and in the second, a girl. About 6 weeks before we knew for sure, I had a gut feeling that you were a girl. Before our gender reveal party, I kept saying how SURPRISED I'd be if it was a boy. I'd be so happy either way, of course, but I just envisioned having two girls. When people asked if I had a preference, I was honest. I would prefer another girl. If you were a boy, the surprise would be very fun, and having the experience of raising both genders would be a fun challenge, but I really loved the idea of my children having the same sisterhood that I had growing up with your Aunt Laura. I think the potential for friendship is so strong with the same gender. You two will really understand each other, and hopefully be able to talk to each other about things that maybe you don't want to talk to us about.

Size: I've gained about 20-25 pounds so far, and absolutely loving my pregnant body. I'm eating whatever I want, I'm sleeping well, feeling refreshed in the mornings ((most of the time)), and I'm not fatigued or swollen//uncomfortable. I love getting dressed and showcasing my growing bump as my favorite part of any outfit.

I love you so much already! I am so excited for December to get here, so we can hold you, kiss you, and have hours upon hours of snuggle sessions. I pray everyday that you are happy, healthy, smart, and kind. Take your time in there, but know that we are ready for you. We've been ready for you. I even re-read a journal entry from a couple years ago, when your sister was still an infant. I wrote "Even though I'm feeling levels of contentment like never before, I know our family is not complete. Even though Lilah Grace is currently our only child, I know she is really our oldest child." We loved you before we made you, and will love you forever.

As you wiggle around in my tummy, I know you are caught between realms. I feel so honored to be connected to the spiritual realm through you. I want you to know, sweet little one, that when you arrive earth-side, it will be my honor to teach you how we do things here on this planet, but I will turn to you to remind me what the other realm is like. I will sit and stare at you with awe while you sleep, and wonder what you're dreaming of. I look forward to hearing your sounds, smelling your head, and staring into your wise and infinite eyes. Your dad and I are already so proud that we made your precious little infant body, but we know that your spirit within that body is eternal, and we honor the Divine in you. Namaste, little bun.


*Originally, I used the word "gender" but that was just out of habit. Fortunately, a progressive-minded friend pointed it out to me. The world is changing, and so am I, and regardless of your sex OR gender, I will love you infinitely.

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