12/21/12...End of the World. Sort Of.

As I look out my window and see a gorgeous sun illuminating paved sidewalks, bare branches, and crinkled leaves, I hesitate before chuckling at the "end of the world" scare.

I hesitate because maybe it isn't a completely fabricated and ridiculous idea to think that today could be the end of something. There might not be aliens and zombies outside my front door, but there is a crisp, fresh breeze. And our four furbabies (Teddy, Stella, Dunkin Donut and Earl Grey) are alive and well, completely unaware that today is different than any other.

And that makes me aware that as a human being, we have a huge edge over animals. We are aware. We are conscious. Our brains are capable of processing amazing thoughts that even other mammals aren't capable of. 

What if today, I choose to end a cycle of anxiety and negative thinking? What if I think of today not as a "fake end of the world," but a "start of a new chapter." Kind of like New Years, only in my imagination, this is a way bigger deal, because there's a new year every 365 days, and there hasn't been a fake-end-of-the-world-day since Y2K. 

With so many changes going on, it's easy for me to feel out of control. I wouldn't like to think of myself as a "control freak," but in all honesty, I probably ought to own it. I ought to own it so I can discard it. Awareness is curative, right? I think I pride myself on my "get 'er done" mindset, and restless work ethic. And up until recently, these key ingredients, paired with a positive attitude, have allowed me to shape the exact life I've wanted for myself.

But this past year, some decisions have lead to other life-changing situations, and for a while, I was scared. I felt out of control, and like even my usual "recipe for success" wasn't going to help me this time. Thank God for a strong and loving family, solid friendships, and of course, my loyal partner. With a renewed attitude, refreshed perspective, and grateful heart, I can honestly say I'm beyond excited to see how this next chapter in my life will unfold. 

I know this is a bit of a tangent, but I have strengthened my belief in the importance of developing and maintaining a strong network. I was lucky to be born into an amazing family, but I have to continue to give (in whatever ways I can) to them, as they have given to me. My mom just had shoulder surgery (rotator cuff tear, which I know is a very painful recovery), and I need to make myself available to her. I am fortunate to have great friendships, but these are two-way streets, and I have to be sure to check on my friends and make sure I am up to date in their individual lives. I must continue to focus on my husband's needs, not just my own. In this next chapter, I think I will inevitably learn selflessness, which will be a struggle since I have REALLY enjoyed being selfish the past few years. Confession. 

Back to my point, today is not the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new world. And that new world starts in my head, in my heart, and in my thoughts, which fuel my actions. To encourage positive thinking and maintain this feeling, I'm going to do a few things out of the ordinary.

1) I'm going to clean my house. Like, really clean it. On my hands and knees, scrub the baseboards, kind of clean. Laundry. Dishes. Sweep. Mop. Because a clean house will make my husband happy (YAY! Progress.) and also will make me feel comfortable, and relaxed.

2) I'm going to enjoy some quality time with my closest friends, delivering presents (and necessities) to a family in extreme need. I'm very grateful for my friend Jessica, and her mom, Monica. They opened my eyes to a foundation called "I Have a Dream" in the projects in Dallas. The best part about this event is not just giving money, it's giving time. We have been buying gifts throughout the week, Jessica wrapped them last night, and today we will go bring them to the family we sponsored, and break bread (or pizza) with them. Put names with faces. They won't just be "two girls in Dallas," they will be actual people, and I know this time with my friends will be not only a memory-in-the-making, but also a unique opportunity to remind me of my many blessings. And how blessed I am to be able to give back to a family, when I thought financially I was strapped. There's always enough to give. It's a matter of what I can't do for myself, or what needs to be eliminated from the budget. In this case, it means Drunken Noodles (my utmost favorite dish, that unfortunately costs $12). Seriously, worth it.

3) I'm going to work on an embroidery project. Because it seems like there is always something better to do, but really, this quiets my mind and I always feel productive when I finish another line.

4) I'm going to drink hot tea. On a cold day. And when I drink it, I won't be drinking it on the go. I will sit, and enjoy each sip. This is how I drink my coffee many mornings. A hot drink can definitely be a form of meditation for me, and I intend to have one after this blogpost.

5) I'm going to pray. I remember as a little girl, praying the same thing every night, to "cover my bases," or make sure I was being good. That's not what prayer is about to me anymore. Now, I know it is a DIRECT connection from my soul to the Soul of the Universe. And how lucky we are to have that, if we only quiet the mind and tune in. I won't be asking for anything. I'll be thanking God for what has been given to me. I love the Edward Sharpe song, "I Don't Wanna Pray," because one of the BEST lines is 

"Not much good to talk, better to walk it

Not much good to take, better to give

We are gone forgiven and forgotten of our sins

I promise you my friend all that dies will live again

Pardon god and mom, what I'm sayin' isn't rare

See I'm looking to become, not the pray-er but the prayer"

I want to focus, not just today but forever, on not being a person who prays asking for qualities, emotions, or things, but being the actual answered prayer. Living out the words I am affirming. When I pray for peace, gratitude, and love, I am affirming that I AM peace, gratitude and love. 

6)Burn sweetgrass, thanks to my friend, Stephanie. She told me it invites good energy when you burn it, and I want to bring as much good energy in today as possible to start this new chapter out right. Thanks for that, Steph.

7) I will quite possibly do a few ideas from this blog which I found from a friend, Greer's facebook page. 

• Read my horoscope
• Paint my nails
• Listen to my favorite album (I will actually listen to that Edward Sharpe song, on vinyl. Perfect.)
• Bake something tasty (cinnamon rolls via waffle iron. Perfect.)
• Write in your journal.
• Make a fort.
• Breathe in. Breathe out.

That post actually inspired this post. Which is pretty awesome, that a girl I don't even know inspired me. I think the connectedness and openness has already started, if we choose to embrace it. What a wonderful world we live in. 

HAPPY Non-End-of-the-World Day. Since we have the rest of our lives after all, let's make the absolute best of it. Today and everyday. It's one extra day that we might not have had. Celebrate!

xoxo,

L