The Kingdom of Heaven Is At Hand...Even If That Hand Is Freshly Manicured.



I don't believe God is an old man in the clouds. I think God is the space between every living cell in every living being. And though we are made of different cells, the space between them...I think that space is infused with Divinity, and I think that is what connects every living being in the Universe. We are all just a part of God. God isn't separate from us, He is the Connecting Force between us.

 



 

 

When I smell a flower, and can't see the scent, but know it is there because I can smell it...I think that is God.

 

Photo Credit: Kate Gale



 

When I hear a song, and don't have a distinct memory tied to it, but still get tears in my eyes...I think that is God.

 

When infant babies smile, though they have no memories or experiences to be happy about just yet...I think that is God.

 

The two utmost loves of my life



 

When I feel a breeze brush my cheek, and realize it is the same breeze that sways the tree branches above me, and the grass below me...I think that is God.

 



 

I also believe in Heaven and Hell. But I believe they are here, right now. Not some destination. Just as the wind can gently and lovingly cool me down on a warm summer day ((Heaven)), it can also meet certain earthly weather conditions, turn into a cyclone, and wipe out a city ((Hell)).

 

Photo Credit Dylan Stable



 

That is not to say God chose to put me in Heaven with a breeze, and the victims of Moore, OK, in Hell with a tornado. Rather, when I feel a breeze, I choose to Thank God, and enter the Kingdom of Heaven in that moment ((even if it is a 5 second, fleeting moment)), and when I drove through the destruction in Moore, Oklahoma a year ago, I acknowledged the Hell those people were going through...furthermore, I realized that even in that Hell, God was everywhere. But, in order to access Heaven in Hell, the victim must make that conscious choice. It is in the most devastating circumstances that we see God most easily, or choose to not see God at all.

 

Having been a traditional Christian for a couple of decades, I'm familiar with the verbiage used in the Church, and what I think is the more comfortable vocabulary for most of my friends. They would word it this way, "When God closes a door, He opens a window," or, "God is always knocking, it is up to you to answer."

 



 

Same thing. Different words, same message.

 

The people gathering from all over the country to help...God. The American Red Cross raising millions of dollars all over the world, and then the hands and feet of their volunteers...God. Even in Hell, there is God.

 

Realizing God is everywhere amidst horrible circumstances ((not caused by God)) is accessing Heaven.

 

Being unaware that God is around, and focused on the horrible times//situation//person//damage, and feeling like a victim is accessing Hell.

 

The people who were in that unfortunate set of circumstances, in Moore, during that horrific deadly tornado a year ago, who didn't see the help, who didn't realize the Love being poured in...they have an absolute separation of God and Self, and that is the Ultimate Hell.

 

Hell is not some fiery pit with a fictional cartoon character complete with horns and a pitchfork, dancing in fire...I would have to really try to believe something like that, and even if I really tried, I just couldn't. That seems so juvenile, so silly. We can see with our eyes pain and despair, and separation from God, right here, right Now. And seeing that, and not helping, but rather, coming from a place of self-righteousness, does more harm than good. Believing in a Hell doesn't make it real, and it doesn't save anybody. Donating money to natural disasters, donating time and service...that makes a difference. Showing people love, and opening people's eyes to the beauty all around them...that is the most effective way to "save somebody" from Hell. We don't have to wonder if Hell exists, or if Heaven is real. We can see it, and experience it. And we can make a difference.

 

I believe every thought we have is a choice before it is a thought, and most humans are unaware of the ability to choose their thoughts.

 

I think the first step for me was realizing I am not my thoughts. I didn't fully realize this until I was probably about 20. I think I've mentioned it before, but reading Eckhart Tolle's "A New Earth" changed my life, and the way I see the world.

 



 

Though I'd definitely heard phrases like "This too shall pass," and even the less regal, "Don't get too attached," I didn't truly grasp the temporary-ness of not only my life, but the world. Everything is temporary; this world is transient. All it takes is walking through an old cemetery to realize generations existed before us, and we had no idea who they were or what they did. This can be depressing...or it can wake us up to the moment at hand.

 

Photo Credit: The Moravian Cemetery



 

Situations always arise, therefore, it is not the situation at hand that is the problem; rather, my feelings toward the situation that is the problem. Change my thoughts, change my feelings, change my life.

 

But how can I change my thoughts? I wish it was that easy. If only I could "turn off a switch" and stop my mind. It is way too fast. Thoughts come and go too quickly for me to even acknowledge each thought and tell it to stop. I can't keep up with my mind. It has a mind of it's own.

 

Tolle explained in "A New Earth" that his "aha moment" was when he was contemplating suicide. The thought, "I can no longer live with myself" kept repeating in his mind. He questioned,

 

Who is the "I" that can no longer live with "my self"? Are there two of me? Who is the "I" and who is the "self" that "I" can no longer live with?

 

Tolle is definitely one of my most influential spiritual teachers. He embodies peace completely. Watching one of his interviews, I could see how a viewer not familiar with enlightenment or inner awareness could find him incredibly boring. He doesn't get worried, mad, sad, or visibly happy. He is just peace, wrapped up in a body. Of course he wasn't born this way; he achieved this Zen like way of life through years of practice. And I often try to think about his approach when I am faced with a negative set of circumstances.

 

**Sidenote to keep it real...I said I TRY. I am so far from Zen it isn't even funny. But I'm aware of what it looks like, and blissfully aware of what it feels like, and I am trying. I am also aware that it is easier to feel and embody peace on a perfect day. The month of May is my absolute favorite. The birth of my daughter, Mother's Day, my birthday...the cool mornings and nights, and warm days, when I can feel the Vitamin D soaking through my pores...it is easy for me to feel like a peaceful little flower child when everything is going my way. But I must remind myself when I'm getting that speeding ticket, or have a conflict at home or work, or am dealing with a customer service agent on the phone sorting out bills...it is the stressful situations that are gifts from God to teach me how to embody peace at all times. Tolle wouldn't get upset in those moments. He's a Zen Master! Neither would Buddha, Jesus, or the Dalai Lama! But if I can just continue improving...I'm on the right track. Looking at these moments as gifts to help me become more Zen, more peaceful...that's how I TRY to see the situation (even if I'm unable to realize that until after the moment has passed).

 

Anyway, back to my "aha" moment this morning. Many of the spiritual teachers that inspire me have detachment to emotions like sadness, nervousness, and anger. And they also are detached from the material world. For a while, when I had less money, I found it was healthy to detach myself from material pleasures. I even kind of judged those that were attached to their mani/pedis, or expensive cars, or luxurious clothes.

 

But my "aha" came to me this morning, realizing, the huge advantage we as human beings have over other living beings. The mind is both a blessing and a curse. We have the ability to have positive, uplifting thoughts, and most importantly, the ability to realize God in His Infinite Wisdom. A tree doesn't think about God, or feel God or wonder about God...a tree just IS God, without the mind to be conscious about it. The mind is also a curse, because it can go in auto-pilot ((how most humans are functioning, without even being aware of it)), with negative thoughts, and no awareness of how to turn it off. The tree doesn't worry, because it has no brain to create worry. But WE ARE NOT OUR THOUGHTS. We have livers, that create bile, but we are not bile. We have brains, that create thoughts, but we are not our thoughts.

 

The logical next step is realizing if we can detach from our thoughts, we can achieve enlightenment and embody peace. I think when I began looking at life differently ((or as some would view it, my "hippy phase"...hehe)), I took the mindset of no more material pleasures. And if I have one, it is a guilty pleasure. I shouldn't enjoy it. But this morning, I thought, if I can control my mind, why not allow it to enjoy the earthly pleasures? Why not allow it to get temporarily attached to the things that make me happy? I know Tolle would say that attachment allows other entities to become part of my identity, and then I face a potential identity//ego crisis when that entity fails, dies, or disappears. But, if I can control my mind, can't I deal with it then//later? And enjoy the Now?



 

To be more specific, if I live my life completely detached from the material world, I am not going to get a manicure or pedicure. And I usually don't, because it's not worth the money to me. A Tibetan monk goes decades without experiencing earthly pleasures. They seem to have the whole "peace and Zen" thing figured out!! But, I am not a Tibetan monk, and I never will be.

Photo Credit: Mitchell Kanashkevich





 

But this morning, as I was enjoying my morning coffee on a wooden porch swing, admiring the birds, squirrels, and watching the breeze blow through the trees, I had an "aha" moment of my own. In my life, I can indulge in a mani//pedi, and be present, and thoroughly enjoy it. Appreciate the person rubbing my feet. Appreciate and admire the color I choose from the wall of choices. Feel happy and ::gasp:: slightly attached to my new prettier fingers and toes. And, when the polish begins to chip, and come off, rather than think "I need to get another!" or "What a rip off, it only lasted a week!" I can think, "Well that was lovely. I'm so grateful to have had that experience. It is ending now, but it was wonderful while I had it." Then focus on the next experience at hand, which might have nothing to do with that mani//pedi whatsoever.

 

Every day of every week, and every year of my life, is an opportunity to discover on a deeper level, Who I Am. I think I am very familiar with my Soul, and I have felt conflicted with a personality. I blame it on being a "Gemini" ((which I think still holds some validity!))...I have eaten a Vegan diet, and I have eaten Culver's burgers for days. I can be very calm and peaceful, and I can flush my man's phone down the toilet in a fit of rage ((in my defense, that was 8 years ago)). I can rise above gossip and not make comments, but I can also dish dirt with the best of them. I guess, I'm human, and I am flawed.

 

I am also a chameleon! My surroundings dictate how I am going to act, and what I am going to say. I can blend with the sorority, I can blend with the crunchy granolas. I can relate with my plastic surgery patients, and I can relate with my feminist friends. I think ultimately, I have a unique ability to relate with almost any person, on many different levels. My favorite part about this blog is that people who read it choose to read it... it is not required reading to be my friend. So, I don't feel like I'm pushing my spiritual beliefs on anybody ((unlike some religions that literally knock on your door)). However, if I am at a dinner table with traditional Christians, I have the vocabulary and the history to relate to them on that level. For that matter, I have many friends who are politically conservative, or have other fundamentally different values, and I know when to not bring up certain topics, and I definitely know how to be respectful in their company. This blog allows me to express how I feel without the societal filters I put on when I know my audience will take issue with what I have to say. And I can always default to, "If you don't like it, don't read it."

 

Purging my musings out of my head and onto the glowing screen helps me go deeper within. Reading what I've typed, backspacing, and re-wording, helps me to realize how I actually think and feel. I could easily put all of this in a journal, and I do keep one for the thoughts I don't feel like sharing ((though it has been sparse lately...I find I go to that journal when I am upset, and I go to the blog when I'm discovering something about myself, or happy and want to share my feelings of joy)). But sharing these thoughts also opens the conversation with friends who I might not have known to start the conversation with, or complete strangers, who, thanks to technology, can become friends through the world wide web.

 

If you've made it this far, thank you for dedicating so much of your time to getting a peak into my mind. And as I type this, I remind myself...all of these thoughts are a product of my brain. The One aware of them, that sees them as clouds passing in the sky...that is actually Me. I end this Now with a big deep breath.

 

 



This was quite cathartic. Thank you.

 



xoxo,

L





 

 

 

What is the point of prayer?

Help me to the Sun/Son, I'm lookin' everywhere. I'm lookin' to become not the pray-er, but the prayer.

I liked this song the moment I heard it. The title, "I Don't Wanna Pray," sounds controversial but speaks so much spiritual truth. 

When tragedy strikes, the first thing people often say is "I'll pray for you." My favorite minister spoke on this very topic 2 weeks ago: ((to see the sermon, click here)).

Really, if the only thing you do for somebody is "pray for them," you might as well do nothing. Do we as Christians honestly believe that God is a man up in the clouds, waiting to be swayed by our mortal pleas? Like God will cure my friend of cancer if I ask Him to in prayer? Or He will give her energy after chemo if I say a prayer correctly, or multiple times? Or if I pray for peace on Earth, do I expect God to say, "Lindsay Van Meter asked for it, so it is so." Yeah right. How egocentric is that concept?? When somebody loses a loved one, it is natural for us to tell them "You're in my thoughts and prayers." The "thoughts" makes it sound less religion-y and more politically correct. But are we just telling people that because we are at a loss on how to otherwise help?

Like the song, I don't want to be the person praying ((the "pray-er"))...I want to BE the prayer. So, if I'm praying for comfort, I want to BE the comfort. If I'm praying for peace, I want to BE the peace. Currently, I am lifting people up in prayer multiple times a day. To me, this means more than "Dear God, please comfort ((so and so))." 

To me, prayer is the direct connection to Spirit. When I pray, I am reminding MYSELF of my connection to God, which is always there whether or not I acknowledge it. When I pray, I silence everything in this physical realm, and focus on the spiritual realm. I acknowledge my connection to God, and meditate on what spiritual ((or physical!)) gifts I can offer that particular person//cause. 

Long-story-short, PRAYER DOESN'T CHANGE GOD. PRAYER DOESN'T CHANGE THE PERSON I'M PRAYING FOR. PRAYER CHANGES ME.

For example ((and not to say I think I'm so great...I don't, it was just a spiritual thing))... I have a work friend going through chemo right now. I pray for her. I don't think that God is going to change His mind on her outcome based on my prayers. I am reminded of what Jesus would do. It came to me in prayer, that I had a sick day I could donate to her. So I did. That doesn't mean I think I'm so great, or so giving, or so wonderful. It's a physical act that I am capable of doing, and I think that's what Jesus would do. It helped her, and it was an idea given to me by Spirit. That's the power of prayer. 

When I pray, I think about how Jesus would act. I try to do as He would do. Words are just words. Actions mean so much more. Sometimes, we can't act. We only have words. I think the best example here is with natural disasters. I can't afford to go physically help further than in my immediate metroplex. But, I do believe I can pray, and remind myself of the connection I have with Spirit. I can be moved during the prayer to either send money ((if I'm able)), or just be still, quiet, and give my energy to the victims. We are so obsessed with social media and technology, if I take the time to quiet myself and focus on the victims of tragedy, I believe I am giving a piece of energy to them. It might not be much, but it's better than believing I can say a quick "God be with the victims," to cross it off my "To Do List". 

Saying you'll pray for somebody, and then quickly asking God a favor, in my opinion, is not a valuable contribution. Heavily meditating on something matters. And most importantly, DOING something for the person(s) matters most. Being Spirit's hands and feet on this physical realm. 

"Well it's all right to talk, long as you walk it

It's all right to take, long as you give

Some say we forgiven and forgotten all our sins

Either way, I know it's so, that we all will live again

Pardon god and mom, if what I'm sayin' isn't fair

See I'm looking to become, not the pray-er but the prayer

And now I don't want to pray

Nooooo, I don't wanna pray

I don't wanna pray"

-Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros

Musings from a Pro-Choice Preggo.

I remember when the ideological debate of "pro-life/pro-choice" was based on abortion. But now, at 8 months pregnant, I have found myself being asked constantly where I'm going to deliver, who my OBGYN is, what my birthplan is, and when I'm returning to work.

If we are going to continue to defend the right to "choose pregnancy," we must, COLLECTIVElY as women, encompass the choices made throughout the journey.

It starts with the two pink lines. 

(actually, it starts with the woman choosing a contraceptive that is best for her... and if she wants to start a family, choosing to go without...then, consenting to a mutually beneficial and healthy sexual relationship...but I digress)

Two pink lines.

If the woman chooses to continue with pregnancy, she then makes decisions, every day, throughout the pregnancy, that are best for her. Food. Exercise. Alcohol (or lack thereof). Midwife/OB-GYN. Increase hours at work (more money) or decrease hours at work (less stress). We can say she 'ought' to choose what's best for the baby, but the moment we do that, we start making choices for the woman, and begin to undermine her ability to choose for herself. And when it comes to money, society ought to be sensitive when it comes to saying what one 'should' do. Often, the individual directly involved wishes they could do the same thing! But many women don't have choices (re: working/staying at home, insurance coverage, etc), based on their financial situation. 

Once she is in the third trimester, she begins to solidify a plan for getting that baby out! And so begins my rant...

...The Business of Being Born is one of my favorite documentaries, EVER. I loved all four follow-up episodes, too. I've read 3 of Ina May Gaskin (legendary midwife)'s books, and am actually going TO THE FARM in two days. Based on this paragraph, one would think I'm going to have a natural birth at ALL COSTS. And that probably includes a typed up "birth plan" to hand to the team that will help catch the baby, with strict rules of how it is to go down (This RN will not have "that plan," because I know what nurses say at the nursing station, and I refuse to be that patient. After 9 months of planning with my midwife and husband, I will trust the process and hope my choices are honored without feeling the need to be a control-freak.)

But that's not me.

I'm going to have a hospital birth, because our biggest stressor throughout the entire pregnancy is MONEY, and I am SO blessed to be covered by my mom's insurance plan until the end of May (thank you, President Obama). The insurance plan covers hospital births, but not birthing centers or home births. The cost difference is in the THOUSANDS of dollars. It was a no-brainer. I was thrilled to find a midwife in a group of OB-GYNS, and I have really enjoyed my time with her, and trust her completely.

The single most important factor in ensuring women have a CHOICE and a VOICE, is education. We have to have factual information, without a bias, to form our own opinions. 

If a woman only utilizes her OB-GYN as a resource, she will inevitably have biased information that makes the hospital look like a knight in shining armor, saving countless lives. If she only reads natural birth books/blogs, she will see the hospital as a money-hungry demon trying to push her on the table for a c-section. 

The truth is probably somewhere in between. I've definitely formed my own opinion, and I feel reluctant to even share it with the internet, because people (especially women) are SO quick to judge other women's opinions. Which is just SO IRONIC to me. Usually the same women who are 'pro choice' are liberal, more granola, and 'pro natural birth,' and sometimes....these women can be the most egotistical, condescending, competitive women out there (not to mention, these women can also be very insensitive toward women in third world countries who would do anything to have drugs/doctors to help them with birth. And saying "women in Africa squat and have babies all the time," also belittles the women around the world having babies naturally that don't CHOOSE this birth method, but rather, have no other choice. And yes, I have heard that phrase multiple times). 

I understand the desire to have a natural birth for spiritual reasons, and to feel a natural experience that all other mammals experience without the help of drugs...but if the motivating factor behind natural birth is to brag or belittle other women, the choice has then become quite shallow and petty. 

On the contrary, women who have scheduled c-sections, or who beg to be induced early, might just be missing out on an experience worth having, to feel inheritantly FEMALE and MAMMAL. And I wonder how many women out there never had that choice, based on medical issues or infertility issues (or who knows what), and would have given anything for the experience. But at the end of the day, if a woman doesn't WANT to have a natural birth, we, as women, ought to support her right to CHOOSE. 

The same goes for breastfeeding. I have my own opinion on this also (go figure, I have an opinion...)! We know breast feeding is better for the baby, and has countless benefits for mothers. But those breasts belong to the WOMAN. Not her baby, not her partner, not her doctor/midwife. THE WOMAN. And the moment another person casts judgment on her for not doing something with her breasts...they fall under the same category as a person who casts judgment on a woman who has an abortion...

I suppose, ideally, every woman would have spiritually-transformative, natural births, and breastfeed, and raise civilized, respectful, well-mannered children. Ideally, all women would be educated on the medicalization of birth (and the unnecessary procedures that occur for convenience and profit), and while we're at it, ideally, there would never be a NEED for hospitalized births. But sometimes, there is. And we ought to be grateful we have hospitals in that time of need. Ideally, all women would be educated on the benefits of breast-feeding, and would find the act both nurturing and bonding.

But that's not reality. It's not even CLOSE to reality. And I think what matters more than casting judgments, or being a Google Expert, is trusting other women's ability to make decisions for themselves. 

(*SIDENOTE....I think it's safe to say MOST women know the benefits of breast-feeding, but MOST women have to work shortly after having their babies, and MOST employers don't provide a place (nor time) to pump. So, MOST women dry up early and lose their milk supply. Which is not only emotionally devastating, but also financially burdening, as now formula is an added expense. A lack of mandatory paid maternity leave is prohibiting choice for most women. That's a WHOLE OTHER BLOGPOST....)

So anyway, I'm going to THE FARM in two days. And I can't WAIT. My dreams are ((literally)) coming true. And I'll probably be on a HUGE natural birth kick when I come back. But my underlying value, more so than natural birth, is freedom of choice. And that won't change! So choose on, fellow preggos! Choose what's best for YOU! And women out there, EMBRACE one another! On the many choices we make, everyday! On choosing to be single, or married! Choosing to have families, or choosing to focus on careers! We are living in 2013, and we are SO LUCKY to have choices. Our great grandmothers never had these opportunities, so we should ENJOY THE JOURNEY OF CHOICE!

xoxo,
L

The Merge Between Feminism and Beauty

I work full time as a registered nurse in the operating room of a plastic surgery center. I've been working in cosmetic surgery for almost four years. Working in an industry where surgical body modifications is a "norm" pushed me outside of my comfort zone and into a feminist group while I lived in Norman, Oklahoma. When I moved back to Texas a few years ago, I started one of my own.

The Denton Women's Collective accepting a Certificate of Appreciation from the mayor of Flower Mound

If somebody didn't know me very well, they might question how I could be passionate about women's issues while assisting in altering women's bodies for a living.

First and foremost, I must say, I prefer working in a plastic surgery center as compared to my previous experience in a cosmetic surgery center. Plastic surgery includes reconstructive surgery, and cosmetic surgery is entirely elective. Most of our patients are cosmetic/elective procedures, but it is refreshing to have patients who have battled (and defeated) breast cancer. We also work with patients who have 2nd and 3rd degree burns, and children with birth defects. My favorite charity, Smile Train, operates on children in 3rd world countries with cleft palate, and it is one of my lifelong goals to go on a mission with them one day. Until then, I continue to support them monetarily.

With that disclaimer being stated, most of our patients are healthy, happy, and wanting a change in their appearance. Many people are open about the "work they've had done" and consider cosmetic surgery and/or aesthetic treatments a status symbol, similar to the car they drive or the purse they carry. Other people are judgmental of the industry, and assume it is an industry saturated with vain and superficial people.

I think I fall somewhere in between...

The reality is, unless you don't wear make-up, have never colored your hair, have zero tattoos, zero piercings, don't work out, don't take supplements, and have basically NEVER altered your appearance from your natural state of being...YOU have participated in a form of body modification. My question is, what's the driving force of your body modification? Is it a significant other that has encouraged you to alter a part of your image? Do you alter your appearance because you have a competitive nature and want to look better than somebody else? Do you wear a certain make-up because a celebrity you admire is the spokesperson for that particular brand? Have you been brainwashed by an industry that is degrading to women? (Think...Victoria Secret Fashion Show...and don't get me wrong, I love me some PINK! sweatpants, but seriously, that show is HORRIBLE for the average woman's self esteem!)

(Thought I'd throw in a pic of the VS models without make-up...and to be honest, I STILL THINK THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!)

Or, do you just feel more confident when you look your best? Do you feel a NEED to alter your appearance, or a DESIRE? Do you like the person you see when you look in the mirror? There is a major difference between an ENHANCEMENT and a total CHANGE.

Many mothers have endured extreme changes to their bodies after carrying and nursing babies. There is a major difference between an 18 year old girl wanting breast implants to be a "D cup" and a 40 year old mother wanting a tummy tuck because despite a healthy diet and exercise, her abdominal muscles will never be reattached at the midline, and her loose skin will never go away without a surgical incision. Who is to judge the woman who gave up her body for her children, altering an image she sees in the mirror, which in turn psychologically alters her identity??? I'm not saying the 18 year old breast augmentation is any less deserving of the surgery, but I am saying the REASONS behind the surgery are without doubt, completely different. Another thing to keep in mind, is that a surgical modification is PERMANENT. If you wouldn't get a tattoo at 18 because you think "it might not be cool at age 80," ask yourself if you are sure you want the surgery!!!!! And also keep in mind that MOST implants need replacing in 7-10 years (saline) or 15-20 years (silicone), and you might have a different set of priorities at that point in your life. Be an EDUCATED consumer.

Many women purchase night creams and anti-wrinkle creams for their eyes, but cast judgment upon women who get BOTOX or other dermal fillers. Why? Don't both serve the same purpose? There might be slightly more pain (about a "2" on a 0-10 pain scale, lasting about 2 seconds), but without question, the BOTOX and fillers are more effective.

If you have purchased a shampoo that is "anti-frizz" and your hair naturally has some frizz, why did you want to change that about yourself? If it's to make yourself feel more beautiful, to enhance a positive self-image, and to feel confident, then more power to you. But if you're the type to cast stones at somebody who can afford a Keratin hair treatment, my feeling is you are judgmental out of jealousy, not righteousness.

There IS a problem, however, when somebody can't afford a phone bill or the rent, and they are getting their nails done, hair done, and countless other beauty treatments. But if priorities are in line, and the person can afford to look their very best, why do we have a tendency to bash other women for "what they've had done"?

I've heard many women (myself at times included) say "yes, she's pretty, but she just looks so fake." Well, some people definitely over-do it. The "Snookie tan" mixed with 3 inch long acrylic nails, caked-on make-up, breasts falling out of a shirt, and false lashes falling into their eyes in my HUMBLE opinion is not an attractive look. Or at least not one that I would want to have....but if we really want to empower women, we need to start by being less judgmental toward one another. I think that starts by looking within and being honest with ourselves.

But the awesome thing is, BEAUTY is not HOMOGENEOUS. Some people prefer blondes, some prefer brunettes. Some prefer thin eyebrows, some prefer thick. Some prefer fair skin, some prefer tan skin. We each define beauty for ourselves. We CAN'T let society dictate what "beautiful" means. Nor can we can't let our PARTNERS or our FRIENDS dictate what "beautiful" means. We have to individually decide what looks beautiful to us. That might be the "Snookie" look, for Snookie at least...and that's OK. It's also ok (and empowering to me!) for somebody to pass on beauty treatments, because they feel beautiful without anything! I think it's AWESOME when women don't wear make-up or get all fancy to go to the grocery store...it's like they have nothing to prove. But I highly doubt they've never put on lotion for dry skin...or never straightened their hair for a special occasion.

I see no harm in the cosmetic surgery world, when it is used for the right reasons, with people who can afford it, and with the will power and self discipline to limit themselves to a few treatments. The danger is when somebody starts down a slippery slope and wants every procedure offered, and no longer resembles a refreshed version of themselves. If you look in the mirror and you see somebody you psychologically identify with, you are beautiful and empowered. I think we need to do a better job, AS WOMEN, empowering other women and judging a little bit less.

xoxo,
L

Change of Season.

I haven't been writing as often lately because I have been doing more photography. My favorite hobby lately has been making custom videos. I purchased a domain, www.LensofLindsay.com , and business cards. If you know of anybody needing photos or custom videos (graduation, weddings, memorials, anniversaries, etc.), please keep me in mind!

Business Cards!

First Maternity Shoot!

In the meanwhile, I have been enjoying the transition from summer into autumn. This past summer was the most uncomfortable I've experienced, bar none. Of course, I enjoyed the summer activities (riding on boats, swimming, late night walks), but no season can compare to fall. The crisp air, the pumpkin-flavored EVERYTHING!!! This is definitely my favorite season. I am looking forward to 11/11/11...the Denton Women's Collective is hosting a clothing swap at my boyfriend's party. The party will be really fun, too. Camping Theme. His parents live in a remote, quiet area, and we will have a campfire, s'mores, and plenty of music. Everybody (male and female) is encouraged to clean out their closet and bring clothes/accessories/shoes they no longer wear...and then all the guests can go through and choose whatever they want to keep. All leftover clothing will be donated to Denton Friends of the Family. Speaking of DWC, we also had a great meeting recently where we invited men to join us in the viewing of Miss Representation. The conversation was stimulating, and the documentary was thought provoking. 

DWC "Miss Representation" Screening

As the weather gets colder, it seems fall just never sticks around long enough. I try to enjoy as much time outside as I can when the weather is as perfect as it is right now. I've enjoyed a perfect family lunch at Joe T. Garcia's (minus my sister, we miss you, Bud!)...beautiful outdoor shows watching George play pedal steel (and dancing with his mom!)...

My gorgeous mom reppin' her boots!

I love the way my GrandDad looks at my Mimi. They are still so in love after so many years and are such an inspiration to me!!! (This was a candid shot!)

My aunt, uncle, and adorable cousins.

Dancing with George's mom at one of his shows in Dallas

Just when the heat finally lifts, the cold sets in. When it gets cold, I tend to be more reclusive, more isolated...it's as though my apartment is a black hole and once I get home; I don't make it back out until work the next day. This isn't all bad, though. When I lived in Oklahoma, at times, in winter, I'd get blue. Lonely, cold, and such a mundane schedule. Last winter was the first in a long time when I felt happy to be cooped inside. I am expecting a similar winter this year. I've already been enjoying Pinterest projects (check out www.Pinterest.com if you haven't yet!) around the house...And with the Wonder Years on Netflix, the complete Sex and the City DVD collection, my sweet pups, and a passion for healthy cooking, I think I'll be just fine hibernating in my loft, thank you very much. 

Still.Not.Over.This.Chair.

Picture frame collage...Pinterest idea.

Does it get much better than this?

Roasted vegetables and tofu.

My babies.

Pi Phi T-Shirt Quilt. Perfect for snuggling.

Kevin and Winnie. True Love!

Obsessed.

A Question of Morals...

We are all raised in different homes, with different parents, different religions (or lack thereof), different philosophies, and different backgrounds.


We all grow up and analyze our prior unquestioned universal truths, and wonder what we will choose to hold fast to, and what we will choose to let go.


I realized this today because my patient was a Jehova's Witness.

I openly admit to knowing very little of this religion, other than they will not accept blood if a transfusion is medically required. Prior to the patient falling asleep under general anesthesia, he told me, "I really can't receive blood. It's a really big deal." My heart ached for this man as I felt his anxiety and worry. I told him, "Don't worry. I don't eat meat, and I'd be really mad if somebody chopped it up and hid it in my food. I'll be sure you don't receive blood." He smiled, and drifted peacefully off to sleep.

I don't know this man's background, religious doctrine, or values. But I respect the fact that it is important to him. 

What intrigues me is how righteous one may feel in his or her own moral, value, or belief, with little regard to somebody else's. I became much more aware of this when I moved away, from family and friends alike, and started a new life in college. I was a sponge soaking up new information, learning a lot, and trying to become exactly who I wanted to be, with as few influences (positive or negative!) as possible.


Going on a slight tangent, I can't help but wonder if some people think their morals should be more highly regarded than somebody else's. Some that come to mind are people who can say, "I've never had a sip of alcohol," "I've never had premarital sex," "I've never stolen anything,""I've never tried drugs," "I've never uttered the Lord's name in vain," "I've never lied to my spouse," it seems all these "I nevers" are uttered out of righteousness. As if those "nevers" makes that person somehow more moral than somebody who has done any of those things.

And elaborating upon that point, I wonder if the stereotypical person to say the above statements, would think about the value in stating, "I won't drink out of a styrofoam cup," or "I will only eat farm-raised chicken," or "I will only drive a hybrid vehicle," or "I'll carry my glasses home if this establishment will not recycle them." 

Though I realize this is a very bold generalization, and I might offend some people (though I have no intention of doing so!!), it seems as though the stereotypical "conservative right" clings to personal convictions, while the stereotypical "liberal left" clings to environmental convictions. If I were to ask some of my Christian, Republican friends (which I have a ton of!), WHICH IS WORSE? LITTERING A STYROFOAM CUP, OR SMOKING MARIJUANA? I can almost guarantee the drug would be viewed as a worse action. Where as if I were to present the same question to some of my liberal, hippy friends (which I have a ton of!), I can almost guarantee the act of pollution would be more offensive. 


Why is this?


Who is right?

(Though this is an obvious rhetorical question, I can play Devil's Advocate and present both sides. I realize it can't be narrowed down to conservative/liberal because more factors come into play: religion, region/location, age, etc...but to make it simple, go with me on the labels.

The "Conservative" feels there is no possible way they can change the world, so they  must make choices regarding their bodies as if they are a temple. No drugs, sex, alcohol, or any other influence that could negatively impact the body that Christ has given them. 

The "Liberal" feels as though their body is going to die and turn to ash, anyway, and ultimately become a part of the world even if only as fertilizer. They gain more of a sense of being and purpose by nourishing the planet, even if only in gratitude for the one body they were given.)

Does it matter?


I think the most important observation I hold to at this moment, is realizing that your own convictions, morals, values, and beliefs, do not make them more important, or more benevolent, than anybody else's. I think every man and woman must choose what is the best moral code to live by, and live it with actions, rather than words. I love the quote by Margaret Thatcher:

 "Being powerful is like being a lady...if you have to tell people you are, you aren't." 

In other words, we can only be responsible for ourselves. We will ultimately be the ones who decide our own fate, and each decision we make molds our character. Telling people what you do or don't do, or have never done, doesn't make you any more moral or valuable than somebody who has done those things.  It's like speaking an entirely different language, in fact! The best answer, I believe, is to meet people where they are. And if somebody's moral code personally offends you, or makes you feel less valuable by your own set of standards, disassociate yourself from that person immediately! You don't have to change them, or make them feel bad about their choices. Odds are, they will instantly become defensive and bring out your flaws--which you might not even think exist because you have an entirely different rule book!

In high school, some parents cared more if their child was home by curfew. Others cared more if their child was getting into alcohol. Others cared more if their child was gossiping or speaking rudely of classmates. Ironically, the Christian face does profess that all sins are equal. James 2:10 states, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all." Maybe all religions, including Christianity, should keep this in mind before quickly judging somebody for a personal choice.

Preps, lay off the Hippies. They're doin' the best they can with what they know.

Hippies, lay off the Christian folk. They're doin' the best they can with what they know. Plus, more booze for you.

Just food for thought!